I have debated with myself over how much I am willing to share about my journey for my Pinterest Perfect Life. But how can a person share their journey if they are not completely honest about what they are going through? So here it goes, the ugly side of my journey. "What is beautiful?" My husband of 20 years believes that I am beautiful. I love him for his unwavering support and never ending love. I, however, do not feel beautiful when I look in the mirror. There are times that I forget that my weight has crept up to 256 pounds (at my heaviest) and I still believe that I have the body of a 115 pound dancer.
It all started when I was a teenager and my mom took me to the doctor because my cycle never got regular and I would go many months without a period. The doctor told us at when I was 15 that it would just be hard for me to get pregnant after I got married. There was no actual diagnosis for this problem that I was having in 1998. No other tests were run and we were told there was nothing that could be done for it.
Fast forward to 2001 (I will get to all the stuff in between in other stories), sitting in an Ob-Gyn office with my six month old baby asking why I had gone from 120 pounds when I got pregnant to 125 pounds 3 weeks after delivery. Then ballooned up to 180 pounds. The answer I got was, "Because you aren't doing anything to try to lose weight. You need to workout more and eat less." I had been an athlete all of my life. Softball, cheer, dance, color guard, track, basketball... You name it, if it was available in my small farm town I had tried it. I was eating less than 1,000 calories a day to try to lose weight. I had finally started eating when I got pregnant. I had spent all four years of high school having a bottle of water for breakfast, a bottle of water for lunch, and a half a serving of dinner (unless Mom and Dad were paying attention and made me eat more). I was caring for a 6 month old, two states away from my closest relative at the military base my husband had gotten assigned to. How was I supposed to workout more???
Fast forward to 2003 watching the "Today Show" when they were discussing a newly discovered diagnosis for women with irregular periods, excessive body (and facial) hair, unexplained weight gain, the inability to lose weight, and infertility. It was Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, also known as PCOS. At this point my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant with our second child for over a year.
I made an appointment with the local Ob-Gyn. She confirmed it with a few questions and said, "You are a text book case of PCOS. Short of fertility treatment there is nothing that can be done to help you get pregnant." I was 20 years old.
Since then I have been struggling to lose any weight. I did manage to lose enough for the doctors to allow me to try my fourth multi-month round of fertility treatment. It was finally completely successful. I delivered my second son. At my six week follow-up I weighed 15 pounds less than when I conceived. Eight months later I found out I was five months pregnant with son number 3. At my six week check up I was at 180 pounds again. I hadn't weighed the little in 13 years.
Now that I am not actively trying to get pregnant, my doctors are not concerned with treating my PCOS. Eat less, workout more, avoid carbs, don't drink too much, and so on, and so on. I started doing my own research on how to lose weight with PCOS. There have been a lot of advancement in the research since 1998 when they didn't really have a name for it.
I am resolved to share this journey with you, because it just might inspire one person to believe in themselves and take the first step. I am starting to adhere to a strict Keto diet and I am resolved to completing the whole 12 week Venus Index workout program. Today is Week 1 Day 3 (there are three workouts a week). Through Keto alone I have lost 13 pounds.
I will be honest though, not every day will be perfect on this journey. There are some days that I will stumble on the doughnut that looks and smells so good. But I will pick myself up and I will reach my goal size (not necessarily a weight because muscle weighs more than fat and I intend on being strong and fit) as part of My Pinterest Perfect Life.
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